My Affliction

This was not supposed to happen, This did not go according as planned. I was never supposed to feel this way. It seemed as though he dropped right out of the sky...He arrived right in front of me right out of thin air, mesmerized me. Enticed me. I fought against the feelings of lust, want and need, but you brought it back everytime you made a smile grew within me. Now you are my addiction, I can't shake you, stop seeing you, and I just can't stop you from touching me. I thought Jill Scott's description of her long, restless nights and sweet, sticky rendevous' was explicit, raw, and just too open. But just a month with you, I understand each and every syllable of the words she speak. You cross my mind day in and day out. At first, I thought it was quite amazing. How beautiful the music we would make. How sweet the sound. This has grown beyond addiction, you are now my affliction. You have taken over my mind, body, and Soul....Afflicting my eyes from seeing the real you, the damage you are doing to me...You tell me you love me. But I know that's not true. You love the things I do to you...No...Not me...You just love this pussy....Cat got you trapped...But you got me open. Tongue tied twisted up, you keep my heart flowing....With what I thought was love...But it was just lust...I have to let you go, because I deserve more, and guilt eats at my heart each hour, minute, second, that I am with you...So we should just....Stop....But you keep calling me, leaving me sensual, masculine, beautiful voicemails professing how deep your love goes for me, how bad you need to taste me, how beautifully naked I am to you. I can't even delete them. My second heartbeat throbs from beneath me. All I can do is get down on my knees, close my eyes and put my hands together humbly. If you understand, and got me please pray for me.. *SIGH*