Subliminal Shots

Just because I speak subliminally that doesn't mean I am afraid, scared, nervous, or paranoid of an outcome. It means I don't want to hurt your feelings and you haven't taken me to the point where I view you as less than human. Really, I just don't want to verbally stick a knife through your cranium, fuck your whole life up make you evaluate self in a mirror of shame. Although I'm tired of your foolish ways, fucking with me thinking my time, my energy is a game. I must admit I have anger issues, bitterness, uneasiness, and a zero tolerance for human life. So I take my anger and temper out on spoken word, blogging, writing cyphers, stories and articles on bitch ass niggers, bitch ass bitches, and shady motherfuckers that could I have killed, resuscitated and then murdered twice. My whole attitude is like fuck your whole existence, I don't see you or hear you, for what, I don't like any of you. So this message is subliminally yours, I hope you enjoy it.

 Fuck you. There was a method to my madness and I had to teach your lesson and I think that lesson was a blessing for the both of us. I made you sit and think about how time is money and money is time and to stop fucking with people just for the hell of it. I could have did much worse.  An enemy of my enemy is automatically my friend, I could have sent them to you, set you up for being the snake you really were and exposed you. But I decided to stay cool and be a bitch, embarrass you and take the charge for the whole team of women who hate you for using, abusing, and dragging them. You will forever be known as the "Rainbow fucking kind" and I will be forgotten as the "childish bitch that had a temper tantrum".

And as for you...You arrogant sonofabitch, no life having parasite, wannabe rich, celebrity you're not nor will you ever be. I'm the only reason why people even heard of that bullshit magazine. I'm the reason why you're hits were high, you gained popularity, I'm the reason why sponsors even looked in your direction. You turned Hollywood, forgot where you came from and I can guarantee my entire bank account that you sold out just for L.A's prototype selection. I tried to be nice, you're just a fatherless child trying to prove something in life. The fact that you have no talent, aspirations but to sit in front of a camera and look pretty. Or to sit behind a camera and chase after celebrities  hell if you would have acted right I could have taken you to the top with me. My writing brought all the investors to the yard and you couldn't handle a lady doing better than you at something you birthed and created. But I forgive you, you can't help it. How dare I expect a man of such pride to kneel down and kiss the ring of a queen with the anointed gift of words on paper, screen or magazine. Watch the Throne. You feel me?

Yes, I am angry, hurt, bitter, black, female, sick and tired of the bullshit. Sick of trying to be that perfect fit into someone else's equation and busting my fucking back for others who don't appreciate it...My attitude is fuck you and the pussy you crawled out of. Speak the mind or the heart will explode..I spoke my mind and my heart could still explode. 

Snapped

Snapping does not have to consist of yelling, hitting, fighting, or cursing. I decided to reverse the way I snap by switching my attitude up by reversing. I decided to walk away and remain content and show love to those who have my best interest...At heart those who never have never part..with me whether I'm doing bad or good and when clearly I'm misunderstood. Those who have stuck with me when I was literally snapping, negative, acting out and not giving a fuck about those who really did care for me. I thank God for the loved ones He placed in my life who was honest with me and told me they had a bone to pick with me. I thank God for those He placed in my life that hurt me to my heart. The ones with blood running through my veins, the ones who consistently caused me pain, mental allergic reactions to the stab wounds in my back infected with more constant lies. 

 Money was my silent partner, the mediator, the middle man, who whispered to me that the more I give the more love I would be given. But as it disintegrated, love turned livid, dissolving into smoke and ice filled hatred. 

  Pain turned into anger, anger turned into pain as more knives entered my heart and back by the people I trusted. But thank God for deliverance, wake up calls, and clearer sight. I was in darkness, pitch blackness and thick forests. Lost, bewildered and confused when all along Christ was my guide and I just didnt know it. I thought I was alone, lost, abandoned and boy was I wrong, little did I know my Father the King was keeping me strong. At the end of the day I inwardly snapped...Turned my back and kept my attention on those that mattered to me..Those who would never hurt me...Actions speak louder than words and I am cashing in on words and not actions...Wondering why I am filled with bitterness and dissatisfaction. Snapped by focusing on success, my happiness, and hard work. Snapped by praying, praising and thanking Him for saving my life. Snapped by contentment, comfort and basking in love from people. 

Guard The Throne

Our crown was paid for by many queens of royalty whose crowns were snatched away  unlawfully. From the Queen of Egypt to the original Boleyn Girl from the last Roman Empire, our crowns were paid for in full. The invisible crown that adorns our head will only become visible to others by upholding pride and dignity. This is why our crowns are disappearing. Crowns are being snatched verbally we allow ourselves to be slandered orally. Answering and laughing to the word "Bitch" during a shindig of giggles and shits. Ignoring the sting of a slap that caused the split on your beautiful lips. Trying to ignore the bruise on your heart from the acid of anger, bitterness, and disrespect that spew from between his lips.
  Falling for his jedi mind tricks, games, and reverse psychology. Questioning yourself in the mirror because you feel stupid due to his trips to make you feel guilty. Lying on your back and letting sweet, decadent orgasms speak for your emotions and heart and afterwards lay curled in the fetal position in tears because his leaving while you were sleeping emotionally ripped you apart.
   Its time to guard the throne your strong, female ancestors fought and died over. The crown that adorns your beautiful head has collected dust, cobwebs, and rusted over from years of being hidden in darkness. Reveal your crown of precious gold, jewels, and gems that gleam in the eyes of the imposter that wants to take over.